{
 "c1p1_open": "Chapter One. In Which a Hero Is Volunteered. Please keep your cards inside the book at all times.",
 "c1p1_p0": "Every morning in Puddingshire began the same way. The sun came up, the bakers came out, and Pip Bramblewick, stable hand to the Crown, shoveled up whatever the royal horses had left for him.",
 "c1p1_p1": "Pip did not mind. Between shovels, he practiced heroic poses with his pitchfork. There was the Lunge. There was the Gaze Into the Distance. There was the one where he pointed at the sky and shouted \"For Puddingshire!\" and a startled pigeon fell off the roof.",
 "c1p1_p2": "He had been practicing for three years. He had never been asked to save anything, but he liked to be ready. \"A hero,\" Pip told the horses, \"is just a stable hand who got lucky.\"",
 "c1p1_p3": "From the top of the water trough, Admiral Honk watched all of this with one cold eye. Honk was a goose. Nobody had made him an admiral. He had simply started acting like one, and after a while it was easier for everyone to agree.",
 "c1p1_aside": "For those keeping score: one stable hand, one pitchfork, zero quests. Also, I would keep an eye on the goose. Everyone in this book eventually learns to keep an eye on the goose.",
 "c1p2_open": "Page two. The part with the trumpet. I've been looking forward to the trumpet.",
 "c1p2_p0": "At nine o'clock a royal herald came sprinting down the high street, which was unusual, because royal heralds do not sprint. They stroll. This one was so out of breath that he blew his trumpet backwards and it went \"thpppt.\"",
 "c1p2_p1": "\"Hear ye!\" he gasped, clinging to the well. \"The Princess Clementine has been carried off by a dragon! A big one! With wings! I saw the wings!\"",
 "c1p2_p2": "\"His Majesty offers half the kingdom,\" the herald went on, \"and a commemorative spoon to whoever brings her home.\" He held it up. It had the King's face on it. The King looked worried even in spoon form.",
 "c1p2_p3": "Pip dropped his pitchfork. Admiral Honk did not drop anything. He narrowed his eyes at the far mountains, the way a goose does when it has decided something is now its business.",
 "c1p2_aside": "A kidnapped princess, a cathedral-sized dragon, and a reward that comes with cutlery. Pip has never held anything sharper than a pitchfork. I'd like that noted for later.",
 "c1p3_open": "Page three. This is where a brave volunteer steps forward. In theory.",
 "c1p3_p0": "The village square went so quiet you could hear a turnip roll. Several people looked at their shoes. One man pretended to be a hedge, and honestly, he was quite good at it.",
 "c1p3_p1": "\"Surely,\" said the herald, \"one of our brave knights?\" Sir Roderick the Bold stepped back so fast he knocked over a cart. \"Dentist,\" he said. \"Terribly sorry. Big appointment. Possibly all week.\"",
 "c1p3_p2": "It was at this moment that Admiral Honk, who had been standing behind Pip, lowered his head and shoved. Pip stumbled three steps into the middle of the square, holding a pitchfork, which from a distance looked a lot like volunteering.",
 "c1p3_p3": "The crowd cheered with enormous relief. Someone threw a flower. Someone else threw a bun, which Pip caught and later ate. And just like that, Pip Bramblewick was the hero.",
 "c1p3_aside": "Our hero has been chosen by a democratic process of one goose. Sir Roderick, meanwhile, is fleeing to an appointment with a dentist who does not exist. Remember his face. He'll be back, and he'll still be useless.",
 "c1p4_open": "Page four. Every hero needs a wise old wizard. This one is old, at least.",
 "c1p4_p0": "Professor Agatha Fumblethorn lived in a crooked tower at the edge of the village. She was nearly a hundred years old and had been a wizard for seventy of them, which she said was \"the good part.\"",
 "c1p4_p1": "\"A sword,\" she announced, rolling up her sleeves. \"An enchanted sword, for the hero.\" She waved her wand. There was a bang, a smell of toast, and a sword clattered onto the table. It was made of wood.",
 "c1p4_p2": "\"Seventy percent right,\" she said cheerfully. \"That's my average.\" Then she gave Pip a map to the dragon's mountain. Pip held it the right way up. The Professor turned it the other way up. Admiral Honk ate the corner.",
 "c1p4_p3": "\"One more thing, dear.\" She tapped Pip's chest, right over his heart, and for a moment she was not fumbling at all. \"Heroes aren't the ones who aren't scared. They're the ones who go anyway, and bring a snack.\"",
 "c1p4_aside": "So. A sword made of wood, a map that disagrees with itself, and some genuinely good advice. Two out of three is a very strong showing for Professor Fumblethorn.",
 "c1p5_open": "Page five. A parade. I love a parade. Please do not ruin the parade.",
 "c1p5_p0": "The whole village turned out to see Pip off. There was a band, which was one man with a drum, and a banner that said GOOD LUCK PIP, with the K painted in at the last minute.",
 "c1p5_p1": "Everyone brought a gift. Mrs. Hobb gave him a cabbage. The blacksmith gave him a lovely doily. Old Tam gave him a lute with one string and said, \"For morale.\" Pip thanked everyone and meant it, which is the sort of thing that makes a whole village cry.",
 "c1p5_p2": "Off to one side, a very large man in overalls swept up the confetti. Nobody knew who he was. He had been sweeping up after things in Puddingshire for as long as anyone could remember. He smiled at Pip, and Pip smiled back. That was Gary.",
 "c1p5_p3": "Then the King waved a hanky from the castle balcony, the band hit his drum, and Pip marched out of Puddingshire, brave as anything. He went out the wrong gate. Admiral Honk bit him until he came back and used the right one.",
 "c1p5_aside": "I have no idea who Gary is. He isn't in my notes. He isn't in any of my notes. I'm going to choose to find that charming rather than terrifying.",
 "c1p6_open": "Page six. Night falls. Atmospherically. I've practiced the atmosphere.",
 "c1p6_p0": "By sundown they had reached the edge of the Whispering Forest, where the trees leaned in close, as if they wanted to hear the gossip.",
 "c1p6_p1": "Pip built a small fire and roasted the cabbage, because that is what you do with a gift when you are hungry and nobody is watching. Admiral Honk stood guard on a stump, still as a statue, glaring into the dark at anything that might be a fox, a wolf, or a badger with ideas.",
 "c1p6_p2": "Far away, on top of Mount Grumblewhit, a curl of smoke rose into the moonlight. It twisted. It looped. It spelled out a word. Pip squinted. It was a very rude word.",
 "c1p6_p3": "\"That's the dragon,\" Pip whispered. Admiral Honk said nothing, which for a goose is the same as agreeing. Somewhere, twelve wolves howled. Pip held his sword close and did not sleep for a long, long time.",
 "c1p6_aside": "And that is the end of Chapter One. A hero, a goose, a wooden sword, and a dragon who swears in smoke. Everything is going exactly to plan. My plan. Which is the book.",
 "m_retell_0": "Ok... well then. It actually went down like THIS.",
 "m_retell_1": "Right. Let me try that again, with the facts as they now apparently are.",
 "m_retell_2": "For the official record, which I am legally required to keep: it actually went like THIS.",
 "m_retell_3": "Scratch that. Strike it. It actually went down like THIS.",
 "m_retell_4": "I'm told by the page that I was mistaken. It went like THIS.",
 "m_recap_0": "The rest happened exactly as I said, thank you.",
 "m_recap_1": "Everything else stands. Somehow.",
 "m_close_0": "There. Happy? I had a whole plan for this page. I'd rehearsed it in the bath.",
 "m_close_1": "I'll be honest, that was better. Don't tell anyone.",
 "m_close_2": "I'm writing a strongly worded letter to whoever gave you that card.",
 "m_stall_0": "Ahem.",
 "m_stall_1": "Where was I. Ah. No, that's my lunch order.",
 "m_stall_2": "Who numbered these pages? Was it you?",
 "m_stall_3": "One moment, I've dropped Chapter Three.",
 "m_stall_4": "Do you know how many drafts this took? Eleven. Eleven drafts, and now there's a goose.",
 "m_stall_5": "I'd like it noted that I trained for this. I have a certificate.",
 "m_stall_6": "From the top. No. No, that's wrong now too, isn't it.",
 "m_stall_7": "Fine, fine, I'm hurrying.",
 "m_leave": "You're... not touching anything? I don't trust this. I'm reading it twice to be safe.",
 "m_tutorial": "Ah. You've found a card. Please don't. That glowing word there is a noun. If you put your card on it, I am obligated to tell the story your way. Which I would hate.",
 "m_jackin": "Oh, here we go.",
 "m_commit": "Right. Brace yourself. I certainly am.",
 "m_fallback": "I refuse to dignify that. It went down exactly as written, with your words in it. Read it yourself.",
 "m_end": "That is the end of Chapter One. You have ruined it beautifully. Collect your prizes before I change my mind.",
 "m_dogear": "You folded my page. The corner. Like a common library book. Fine. It's bookmarked. I'll remember you did that.",
 "m_retro": "Oh no. You've come back. With hindsight. That's cheating with extra steps. One edit. Make it count, apparently.",
 "m_rewind_0": "Right, hold on, rewinding, rewinding, page, page, page, no, yes, that bit changed too, and that bit, oh for goodness sake.",
 "m_rewind_1": "There. Everything after that page now remembers it your way. History is written by whoever has the cards.",
 "i0": "Ahem. Good evening. I am Mortimer Quill, Licensed Narrator, Second Class, pending review. Tonight I shall read you a perfectly good story. From start to finish. Exactly as written.",
 "i1": "Unfortunately, you are a Plotjack. You have magic cards and a little collection of magic words, and you will use them to hijack my story. I've read your file.",
 "i2": "Here is how it goes. I read the page. You press Jack In. You play a card on a highlighted word, pick a word from your collection, and press Make It So.",
 "i3": "And then, by the rules of my Guild, I must retell it. Ok... well then. It actually went down like THIS.",
 "i4": "Cards cost Ink. Edits earn Mischief. Every edit raises my Exasperation, which is not a fail state. It is a medical condition. Finish pages to win new prize words for your collection.",
 "i5": "And when you need a rest, tap Clippy and he will save your place. Clippy is a paperclip. Clippy is very proud. Now. Please. Touch nothing."
}